EP Review: Winter Demos by I.liedtomyself

by Rowyn Belt

Indie shoegaze band i.liedtomyself is coming out of the woodwork with their second release, Winter Demos: a dual single release that explores grief in the holiday season. The band, comprised of vocalist Nico Bacigalupo, guitarists Tyler Fieldhouse and Cameron Subic, bassist Michael Scotto, and drummer Julio Felix, take a lot of influence from the band Carissa’s Wierd, which is very apparent in these tracks.

The first single on the release, winter hangs heavy with you, opens with an ambient guitar line that loops throughout the entire first half of the song. It really provides the slowcore feel that we search for in a band like this, as well as allowing a sense of melancholy to loom over the track. The opening lyrics, “I’ve lost your voice, but I know what you’d say,” are immediately haunting. Upon first listen, Bacigalupo’s voice gave me chills. The blend between their tone and the slight grittiness in the ambience is really unsettling, really digging into the discomfort that grieving entails.

The layers added towards the middle of the song create a groove that, though devastating, really brings everything together. Healing isn't a linear process, and this song doesn't follow the path replicated in so many of our favorite songs. The distinction between verse, chorus and bridge is still clear, but not a smack in the face. This entire piece makes an incredible musical statement about love, loss, and the grief that comes with that.

The talent doesn't end there; the second song of the dual release, seaglass and wedding rings, is just as meaningful as the first. With lyrics right out the gate, this song feels more personal than the last. The first thing we hear is, “And as the storm takes me overnight, I’ll die.” Even with just these initial words, it reads more like a letter than the last single did, providing a contrast that isn’t abhorrent, but is still evident. The huge bass line throughout this song is rattling, truly creating that layer of devastation and heartbreak that is encapsulated by grief.

The imperfections in the tuning and the alignment in this record overall make it feels like you’re listening to the band live. These songs could be playing through your headphones, or they could be performing in your basement. They’re devastating, they’re amazing, and they’re real. I.liedtomyself brought a horribly beautiful dual release to the scene, and their work truly is what it was explained to be; the representation of grief pulses throughout these two songs in a way that is not only personal and painful, but also beautiful and wonderfully executed.